Thursday, 7 July 2011

sometimes tears say all there is to say

           what i'm wearing: heart punchout skinny maroon belt, topshop, in accessories
              pleated orange dance skirt, in skirts     
                  faded denim vest, vintage, in vests/waistcoats

demoralised. i hope these visuals will cheer whomever is reading this really sad post - 
sorry for the old photo, i didn't take a fresh one today.
 guess what? i didn't into my desired overseas immersion trip my school organizes i badly wanted. i really wanted to go to chicago and have been thinking about it since last year, and the pain of not being to achieve that is unimaginable. truthfully, i didn't work extremely hard, but worked alot harder than i did the year before.only the top 10 out of maybe a hundred students in visual arts got to go, and sadly, i wasn't one of them. i got my last choice- and even though many did not see that as the worst country to go, i did. not only because it had nothing much in relation to the direction in which i plan to head once i graduate, i have been there before. sigh, i cried so much. comforting doesn't help as i've let myself down, and i don't care if others say the country i ill be going to is one of the top selections of all the countries my school provided, or if the scenery is nice, or if my friends are with me, or anything like that. i just really really mad at myself for not working a million times harder - even if it reaches my breaking point, i ended up losing one of the two things i really wanted for this year.

sometimes we don't learn from our mistakes 
sometimes - no choice but to walk away